A.D.D. Personified

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Women in a NUTTshell...

So I was up at work this evening with my buddies 'Rad'ney and Joe and Joe and we started talking about women. Yeah...that’s where we went wrong. We began to talk about how manipulative and cunning women are. This is our story...

**Warning: explicit material, may not be sutable for people with no humor**

Myself- "Women are like monkeys in ninja outfits...except they don’t throw poo at you...most of the time."

Joe- "Yeah you know why that is don’t you??"

Myself- "Joe if I new 'why' women threw poo at me don’t ya think I would DO something about it!?"

Joe- "No no, why women are so manipulative, oh-so cunning."

Myself- "Oh...yeah, yeah, that’s what I meant. Umm, nope."

Joe- "Because of the vagina."

*cricket…silence… cricket*

Myself- "Riiiiight so what if I....what if I pulled a Lorena Bobbitt and cut this...this vagina off while they slept and then threw them out my car window??"

*we sat for a few minutes in deep thought as if I had actually come up with an ingenious idea ......right as I thought I had solved the question of the universe Joe made a remarkable discovery of his own...*

Joe- "Wait, if you cut the vagina out...wouldn’t that make it bigger...more powerful. Wouldn’t it?"

*I hastily pulled out my calculator and started working on his new found masterful formula. As it turns out he was right. Not only would it make it bigger it would also increase its wormhole-vortex-pull-of-all-things-good-and-holy-in-the-universe...by point 33 repeating of course.*

Myself- "Ok Joe whatever you do, you can never let the "woman" find out about this. If they did it could very well be the end of the world as we know it."

Joe- "Yeah sooo....wanna think of something else?"

*silence*

Myself- "Yeah....yeah lets think of something else. Welcome to Main Street Crossing, what can I get for you this evening?"